On Tuesday I went out with that Yoga girl Rebecca. I took her to a restaurant called Mimosa Grill for dinner. I had this fantasy that she would show up wearing yoga pants but I knew that would never happen because we were going out for dinner and it wouldn't really be appropriate. I think the only way to see her in yoga pants would be to go on a lunch date with her or ask her if she wants to go for a jog during the day or something. Maybe I should just ask her if she wants to go for a "hike" in the hills.
I picked her up and we drove to the place. She was wearing some tight low rise jeans and she looked really good in them. We spoke a bit in the car, mainly it was her talking while she fiddled with my car stereo trying to find some music she likes. She seemed kind of hyperactive and I was wondering whether or not we were going to click or not. We got to the restaurant, went in, sat down and ordered drinks. I think she was talking the entire time. I was just nodding and saying I see etc. It seemed like it took forever for the food to arrive. It wasn't like we ordered anything special, I guess they just have really shitty service. I hate it when I go to a place and I am hungry and it takes like an hour to get the food.
Friday, December 11. 2009
Yoga girls and new age music
I am happy to report that I have successfully met two girls that are into yoga and also new age music. They are different though because they aren't hippie looking girls with long dread locks and facial piercings and Jamaican looking clothing. They are sexy, hot, lean women who look like normal classy females. The difference is that they are both very spiritual and both are big into yoga and other spiritual stuff. I am down with all of that and like I said in my earlier post I am specifically targeting females that are all spiritual and stuff and specifically into yoga. Both of the girls I met have been practicing yoga for more than 5 years and both of them have been to India and are always going away on yoga and meditation retreats. In fact I wouldn't be surprised if they both knew each other, but of course I would never be dumb enough to ask either of them if they knew each other. Man it is really windy here today and the wind pisses me off. Now my next challenge is to find out if these kinds of women would tolerate a guy who is into hanging with his buddies and playing football and going fishing etc. Three of my friends want to go on a fishing trip to Costa Rica next year, should be a lot of fun. I really need to go on a vacation to a nice hot sunny place so I can just chill on the beach and go fishing. Weather here sucks right now and it's depressing, but anyways back to the topic at hand.
The first girl is named Theresa and she is 28 years old. She has red hair with freckles. She is about 5 foot 10 and so she is not a petite girl but at the same time she is super lean with an amazing bubble butt. I can't wait to see her butt in more detail once I meet her in real life and see her in yoga pants. I assume that these girls wear yoga pants all the time even when they are just casually going to the store etc. Perhaps if I am lucky enough to get a date with one of these girls I will be able to convince them to wear yoga pants on our date. Although I am not sure if that is the best idea because I would have a hard time concentrating on the conversation if I was staring at her ass, hips, and cameltoe all night long lol. She said she works as an administrative assistant for a record label but she didn't tell me which one. The way she described it, it sounds like a pretty cool job in a relaxed working environment. She said she was in a relationship about 2 years ago and for the last 2 years she has just been dating random guys here and there but nothing serious. She said she gets hit on a lot in real life and she often has weirdos walking behind her gawking at her ass and so she has started to get a bad taste in her mouth as far as men are concerned. I don't think she understands how hot she is. She barely wears any makeup and very few accessories. She looks 10x better than most girls out there who put in 10x the effort to make themselves more appealing to men. I am working very slowly on this girl and trying to show her that I am not like every other dude out there who just wants to ravish her perfect 10 body. I am hoping that I can use my intelligence and my sensitive side to win her over because let's face it, I doubt I am her type.
The second girl is named Rebecca and while she is on the same level as Theresa, she is opposite to her in many ways. Rebecca is much more outspoken and almost borderline talks too much. When a girl talks too much it can be cute at first but it gets annoying as time progresses. It can drive a man totally insane and mess with his self confidence. I am just hoping that she talks this much because she was just nervous when we spoke on the phone. I think she will chill out more and become more comfortable once I actually meet her in real life which is something that I am currently working on with her. Since her personality is more vibrant than Theresa's I am not going to go slow with this girl. I am going to play into her bubbly personality and express my feelings much more directly and ask much more difficult questions so I can progress things quicker and maybe get a chance to bang her before I get sick of hanging around her because she talks so much. I know that some of you might think that this sounds self centered and mean but I am just saying that "it is what it is". I never said I wanted a long term relationship with one of these yoga girls... shit I have no idea what kind of girl I want or if I want a long term relationship at all. I am just going to try out all different kinds of girls without getting attached to the first girl who comes along. I am not going to repeat the same mistakes. The definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result.
Anyways Rebecca works in sales for a baby apparel company. She works with the wholesale side of the business which I think is pretty cool. Perhaps that is why she talks so much, because she is in sales. Shitty female salesman who hang out with dudes and try and act like men when they sell is the most annoying thing in the world to listen and witness. They never do well because women feel threatened by them and men don't respect them. She is 27 years old and said that she just got out of a relationship that lasted 6 months. They say jump you say how high.
The first girl is named Theresa and she is 28 years old. She has red hair with freckles. She is about 5 foot 10 and so she is not a petite girl but at the same time she is super lean with an amazing bubble butt. I can't wait to see her butt in more detail once I meet her in real life and see her in yoga pants. I assume that these girls wear yoga pants all the time even when they are just casually going to the store etc. Perhaps if I am lucky enough to get a date with one of these girls I will be able to convince them to wear yoga pants on our date. Although I am not sure if that is the best idea because I would have a hard time concentrating on the conversation if I was staring at her ass, hips, and cameltoe all night long lol. She said she works as an administrative assistant for a record label but she didn't tell me which one. The way she described it, it sounds like a pretty cool job in a relaxed working environment. She said she was in a relationship about 2 years ago and for the last 2 years she has just been dating random guys here and there but nothing serious. She said she gets hit on a lot in real life and she often has weirdos walking behind her gawking at her ass and so she has started to get a bad taste in her mouth as far as men are concerned. I don't think she understands how hot she is. She barely wears any makeup and very few accessories. She looks 10x better than most girls out there who put in 10x the effort to make themselves more appealing to men. I am working very slowly on this girl and trying to show her that I am not like every other dude out there who just wants to ravish her perfect 10 body. I am hoping that I can use my intelligence and my sensitive side to win her over because let's face it, I doubt I am her type.
The second girl is named Rebecca and while she is on the same level as Theresa, she is opposite to her in many ways. Rebecca is much more outspoken and almost borderline talks too much. When a girl talks too much it can be cute at first but it gets annoying as time progresses. It can drive a man totally insane and mess with his self confidence. I am just hoping that she talks this much because she was just nervous when we spoke on the phone. I think she will chill out more and become more comfortable once I actually meet her in real life which is something that I am currently working on with her. Since her personality is more vibrant than Theresa's I am not going to go slow with this girl. I am going to play into her bubbly personality and express my feelings much more directly and ask much more difficult questions so I can progress things quicker and maybe get a chance to bang her before I get sick of hanging around her because she talks so much. I know that some of you might think that this sounds self centered and mean but I am just saying that "it is what it is". I never said I wanted a long term relationship with one of these yoga girls... shit I have no idea what kind of girl I want or if I want a long term relationship at all. I am just going to try out all different kinds of girls without getting attached to the first girl who comes along. I am not going to repeat the same mistakes. The definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result.
Anyways Rebecca works in sales for a baby apparel company. She works with the wholesale side of the business which I think is pretty cool. Perhaps that is why she talks so much, because she is in sales. Shitty female salesman who hang out with dudes and try and act like men when they sell is the most annoying thing in the world to listen and witness. They never do well because women feel threatened by them and men don't respect them. She is 27 years old and said that she just got out of a relationship that lasted 6 months. They say jump you say how high.
Monday, December 7. 2009
Hopes and Fears
The other night I had a dream that I was walking down a path of charred cigars. They were the same cigarillos that my father used to smoke. When I reached the end of the path he was sitting before me but he was an unrecognizable figure but I knew it was supposed to be my dad because he was smoking the same vanilla flavored cigars and I the whole place was thick with dark smoke and I could taste it and was choking on it. He was muttering something about never going to be happy and about how I was cursed. I awoke in a furious sweat and had to head to the window and get some fresh night air. I wish he would stop haunting me. I wish I was born to another family. I wish I had another father. I wish I would have been raised differently. I wish he wasn't dead.
Despite all this morbid bullshit I am still constantly reminded that I am luckier and more fortunate than other people. I just wished knowing this would be enough motivation to make me do the things I would rather not do but I know would be good for me. Sometimes I wish I lived in the jungle somewhere and lead a more simple life but I know this could never happen and even if I was to move somewhere like that, it would not be what I hoped it would be because I am forever tainted with the experiences and memories that I have. They are what has shaped me into the man I am today and I can not unlearn or unwitness anything. I must embrace what I am and seek happiness.
I am trying to be a nice guy online. I am trying to be a different person. I am trying to be the man I wish people would look at me as at. I don't know if I am kidding myself or not but I am definitely enjoying talking to these women I am meeting online about love, relationships, hopes and fears. I decided this morning that I am going to seek out more mature women and also try and find spiritually enlightened women. I am not saying that I am a really spiritual person, in fact I am quite logical and believe a lot in science etc but at the same time, most of the love that I have felt in my life has felt like magic. Living life according to logic is extremely dry so I am willing to try anything at this point. I think that if I can meet a girl who is very spiritual then she will hopefully not be really insecure like most girls that I meet and this means she would have the capacity to understand me and tolerate me.
This means that I am now looking for girls who do yoga and also women who are into trantic sex. I am also looking for girls who study Buddhism and other relaxing religions. I think that girls who practice meditation would be ideal partners to pursue also. So I am starting over and I am only going to contact girls who fit this profile. I will let you guys know how it goes cuz today I sent out about 10 messages and now I am just waiting for some replies.
Despite all this morbid bullshit I am still constantly reminded that I am luckier and more fortunate than other people. I just wished knowing this would be enough motivation to make me do the things I would rather not do but I know would be good for me. Sometimes I wish I lived in the jungle somewhere and lead a more simple life but I know this could never happen and even if I was to move somewhere like that, it would not be what I hoped it would be because I am forever tainted with the experiences and memories that I have. They are what has shaped me into the man I am today and I can not unlearn or unwitness anything. I must embrace what I am and seek happiness.
I am trying to be a nice guy online. I am trying to be a different person. I am trying to be the man I wish people would look at me as at. I don't know if I am kidding myself or not but I am definitely enjoying talking to these women I am meeting online about love, relationships, hopes and fears. I decided this morning that I am going to seek out more mature women and also try and find spiritually enlightened women. I am not saying that I am a really spiritual person, in fact I am quite logical and believe a lot in science etc but at the same time, most of the love that I have felt in my life has felt like magic. Living life according to logic is extremely dry so I am willing to try anything at this point. I think that if I can meet a girl who is very spiritual then she will hopefully not be really insecure like most girls that I meet and this means she would have the capacity to understand me and tolerate me.
This means that I am now looking for girls who do yoga and also women who are into trantic sex. I am also looking for girls who study Buddhism and other relaxing religions. I think that girls who practice meditation would be ideal partners to pursue also. So I am starting over and I am only going to contact girls who fit this profile. I will let you guys know how it goes cuz today I sent out about 10 messages and now I am just waiting for some replies.
Wednesday, December 2. 2009
There is a light that will never go out
So I have decided that this horny freak of a female named Isabelle has got some serious issues but she is good for a laugh so I am not going to totally blow her off but I doubt I will ever actually hook up with her in real life. A late night cyber session or to show my buddies I don't make this shit up is all I will use her for lol, besides it seems like that is all she wants anyways. I decided that I am not yet ready to tackle the hotness that is Eva so instead I have been focusing my attention on the easier to get girl named Erin who if you recall is the girl with the red short hair and tattoos. She seems very eager to please which is a good thing for a lazy oaf like myself. I dunno why I put myself down... I really should think more positive. I think it is because I don't have enough female presence in my life. My mother died when I was 6 years old and my father never remarried. I think deep down I always resented him for that. Sure he had a few girlfriends off and on but he had no game and the strange thing was that he seemed almost relieved that she was dead. As if he had made some grave mistake and God had wiped the slate clean and given him a second chance. A second chance that he decided would be easier without the presence of females to "complicate things" as he liked to put it. I still remember the way the house would smell when he would sit in his old recliner on a sunny afternoon listening to The Smiths and smoking vanilla flavored cigarillos. I couldn't wait to move out and get out from that place and I got my chance when I went to college but when I got to college I felt overwhelmed by hanging out with girls in clubs and I ended up hanging out with the stoners and not developing much during those prime years. Maybe I need to move to Europe and fall in love with a buck toothed girl from Luxembourg. God I wish I really hated the smiths but there is just something about Morrissey's voice that is so soothing and uplifting despite how dismal his lyrics as if he and he alone understands me and my plights. As much as I hate my father, I still love him and I definitely miss him. He passed away 2 years ago from lung cancer. I hope I don't get lung cancer myself from smoking pot. I don't smoke as much as I used to when I was college but still more than I would like. I guess smoking pot doesn't really help with meeting girls cuz it makes you antisocial and unapproachable. Maybe I should go see a shrink or something. I'm just lonely and I hope it changes soon.
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