So I have decided that this horny freak of a female named Isabelle has got some serious issues but she is good for a laugh so I am not going to totally blow her off but I doubt I will ever actually hook up with her in real life. A late night cyber session or to show my buddies I don't make this shit up is all I will use her for lol, besides it seems like that is all she wants anyways. I decided that I am not yet ready to tackle the hotness that is Eva so instead I have been focusing my attention on the easier to get girl named Erin who if you recall is the girl with the red short hair and tattoos. She seems very eager to please which is a good thing for a lazy oaf like myself. I dunno why I put myself down... I really should think more positive. I think it is because I don't have enough female presence in my life. My mother died when I was 6 years old and my father never remarried. I think deep down I always resented him for that. Sure he had a few girlfriends off and on but he had no game and the strange thing was that he seemed almost relieved that she was dead. As if he had made some grave mistake and God had wiped the slate clean and given him a second chance. A second chance that he decided would be easier without the presence of females to "complicate things" as he liked to put it. I still remember the way the house would smell when he would sit in his old recliner on a sunny afternoon listening to The Smiths and smoking vanilla flavored cigarillos. I couldn't wait to move out and get out from that place and I got my chance when I went to college but when I got to college I felt overwhelmed by hanging out with girls in clubs and I ended up hanging out with the stoners and not developing much during those prime years. Maybe I need to move to Europe and fall in love with a buck toothed girl from Luxembourg. God I wish I really hated the smiths but there is just something about Morrissey's voice that is so soothing and uplifting despite how dismal his lyrics as if he and he alone understands me and my plights. As much as I hate my father, I still love him and I definitely miss him. He passed away 2 years ago from lung cancer. I hope I don't get lung cancer myself from smoking pot. I don't smoke as much as I used to when I was college but still more than I would like. I guess smoking pot doesn't really help with meeting girls cuz it makes you antisocial and unapproachable. Maybe I should go see a shrink or something. I'm just lonely and I hope it changes soon.
